Today, during a two hour long meeting, my supervisor decided to take a moment and thank me in front of the CEO of our organization…..

dramatic-meme
“Please don’t look at me. Please don’t look at me”

My supervisor preceded to sing my praises “her professionalism, the quality of work she delivers , and her attention to detail is unmatched”. My heart races. I say thank you, I briefly make eye contact around the table, and proceed to stare at my notepad. People started clapping and the CEO says “Your work is truly appreciated”. I could only muster up a meek thank you and under my breath i whispered “please stop clapping”.

This is how is goes for me, someone acknowledges me in some way, and I immediately want to disappear. Why is that? Shouldn’t I be thrilled that someone noticed me? The attention, the unsought validation, should make my heart flutter not fold over so it becomes tinier and tinier.

One thing I need to become better at is accepting recognition. It is okay to get a little attention, as painful as it may seem. It is so easy for people to only notice the negativity and run wild with telling others about your faults and shortcomings. But, when someone, who does not have to, decides to shine a light on you, acknowledging your contributions, that is way more powerful and a lot harder to fulfill.

Another thing is, you do not want to impede your own growth or professional success because of your unwillingness to acknowledge that you are pretty damn awesome (yeah,you!). I know for me, my first thought is usually “I don’t understand what’s the big deal, I am just doing my job.” I scurry away to my desk or eat lunch in the creepy stairwell no one uses. At the same time, I constantly complain about the people who are inept and make things way more difficult than they need to be. Maybe everyone has a point, may I do make worthwhile contributions and you do too!

Let’s take this time to acknowledge something you do really well or you are pretty good at (I am sure there’s a lot!). Tag a friend and let them know something too!

I’ll go first…I am really good at (long, pregnant pause) active listening and remembering significant ,or completely useless, details about people.

That was hard (it really took my like 10 minutes).

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Written by MutedMouthful

Native New Yorker, amateur artist, sarcastic social worker, professional people watcher, and alliteration addict.

3 comments

  1. Awww yay, you added a picture of yourself on your little icon! lol
    Are you an introvert? I don’t like being the center of attention for things like this either (and I’m an introvert). I mean I like being appreciated, but it feels awkward sometimes when it’s done this way. Ok, so I’m responding with your challenge at the end of your post….I’m really good at encouraging people.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well thank you for noticing! If I’m trying to play it cool, I would say I am in an introvert lol. Overall, I have a lot of social anxiety- I recall being younger and thinking “hmmm, I don’t think I’m just shy”. I lose sleep over situations like this. I ruminate daily on very small instances such as leaving a comment or giving/receiving compliments. I have to give my self pep talks or try to rehearse every situation I can think that may come up, and I panic when it’s something I didn’t expect-its exhausting. I do need a lot of solitude to recharge but sometimes too much quiet doesn’t help either. I’m going to try and not over think this comment and leave it as is .

      I can tell you are very good at encouraging people, you have a really positive energy.

      Like

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