This will be more of a ramble post, I apologize in advance.

I keep most of my thoughts in my head and the fact that I have been letting them out, little by little, every week kind of freaks me out. This is probably a good thing, but it honestly scares me. I am approaching my second full month blogging and each post I publish makes me feel nauseated. Good thing my motto is: if it doesn’t make me feel sick, it’s not worth doing! I’m sorry, I just made that up (it is kind of true).

I do not even let my friends or family read my blog. I overthink every concept, theme, and sentence. I am afraid to find out that I may have something here, but I am also afraid that this is nothing. I am not looking for validation, to be honest, I would not believe you, as convincing as you might be. I have 20 unfinished drafts and many more ideas. The more I try to organize my thoughts, the more overwhelming they become.

Should I write? Should I stop? I grapple with these questions frequently. Luckily this is low stakes and I will not be losing out on much if I stop. I will, however, lose out on a healthy venue to express myself and the connections that have been building with all of you.

I would not be authentic if I did not share my doubts and fears, along with my hopes and dreams. With that being said, I am going to try and take a few deep breaths and clear my mind.

Thanks for reading!

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Written by MutedMouthful

Native New Yorker, amateur artist, sarcastic social worker, professional people watcher, and alliteration addict.

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