It is 2018, why are other women still being shamed for not being “ladylike”? I expect this attitude from my grandmother, I do not expect it from my peer group or those slightly under than me. According to antiquated gender stereotypes, women should be well-mannered, graceful, and modest (yeah, okay). When you do not meet the terms of your gender, you can be met with a sarcastic “how ladylike” and an eye-roll.

nene leakes eye roll GIF
Thanks, go fuck yourself…

This is not unique to me, but I am not much of a lady at all. The only thing that may qualify is that I am quiet and reserved, but that is due to my anxiety more than anything else.

I am clumsy

I burp loudly and often

I sit with my legs open

I don’t shave my armpits

I very rarely shave my legs

I often wear men’s clothing

I talk with my mouth full

I make crass jokes

I drink IPA’s

Sometimes I act like a 12-year old boy

And, if you think I will change my mind about kids, you can suck it!

(The list can go on and on)

I do not do these things to take a stand or make a statement, it is just who I am. #sorrynotsorry

I am writing this from my perspective as a woman, but let us not forget that men face these same attacks; hypermasculinity can become downright abusive. Even further, transgender and non-binary folks continue to have to carve a place in society for their identity to be accepted.  Regardless of how we have been socialized, we all have the right to express ourselves however we want!

So,  I see your eye roll and I raise you a middle finger.

veronica mars middle finger GIF

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Written by MutedMouthful

Native New Yorker, amateur artist, sarcastic social worker, professional people watcher, and alliteration addict.

3 comments

  1. the things you mentioned in your list are more about behaviors that reflect who you are. It is important to be who you are. I also believe that there is a level of conduct that shows you have respect for yourself and others and if that’s being ladylike then we can all use more of that. Can we be both? Ourselves and “ladylike”?

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    1. Unfortunately society loves black and white categories. These things do not make me feel more or less like a lady. Yet, we can still get scolded; much like every other subjective thing, if it does not fit someone’s idea, it’s wrong. It’s all about perception. How we engage with social constructs are behaviors; speaking, dressing, thinking, those are all behaviors. How they get lumped together is the concept. Today, it is still an act of rebellion to not fit into those boxes. Just because one way of being works for someone, does not mean it works for everyone else.

      Like

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