Awkward, Anxious, and Average

AwkAnxAvg 1: The Beginning? It’s Probably Nothing.

You, sitting there drinking an iced latte with your friends.

Me, thinking of what to say to you or how to even get your attention.

I like your shirt, that’s one of my favorite shows, are you a fan?

I also like my beverages cold, not with whip cream, that can be a little much.

You laugh. I think what I said was charming. Then you ask to sit down. My cheeks feel warm, I move a hair behind my ears.

You keep smiling, I’m at a loss for words.

You look away. I see your face up close, your neat twist in a bun and gold stud in your nose. Your skin, the color of raw sugar, brown and shimmering. What’s your name? You say with a chuckle.

Your smile, so bright and so white. My name, what’s my name? You’re blowing it! My glasses become heavier on my nose. I can feel my forehead glisten. “What’s my name? JAYLA!”

I shouted out loud! Everyone is looking! Don’t make eye contact, just stare at your computer screen.

You, looking over at me.

Me, embarrassed.

Don’t look. Don’t look, don’t look! I keep typing on the keyboard. You’ll never truly notice me, why do I bother.

“Hey, that’s one of my favorite bands!”

“Huh?” What’s happening

“The sticker on your laptop, The Break-up Scene. I love them and they say Black people are not supposed to like that.”

“Ha, right! Uh, thanks!” Why is she here? Why is she here? “I’m freaking out, what is this?” I’m mumbling out loud, again. This is me, not shooting my shot, again.

“Merph derp.”

“What’s that?” I chuckle, nervously.

“I’m Reign.”

“Like water from the sky?” What kind of question is that?

“No, like to rule. My momma knew I would be queen!” She says with a sly smile, right before taking a sip of her drink.


“I’m, I’m Jayla.”

“Yeah, I heard. What are you working on?”

“Trying to get my life together, I could be here all day.”

“Ha!” She laughed, she genuinely laughed. Okay, ask her to sit.

“Would you like to dit sown?” Shit. “I mean, sit down.”

“Sure, I’d love to.”


4 replies »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s