Awkward, Anxious, and Average

AwkAnxAvg 6: Alarm Clock

“Hey, girl!”

No, not again.

“Psst, I know you hear me. Don’t be like that!”

“I am not opening my eyes, I refuse. Be gone!”

“You’re funny.”

This is the third night in a row. I just want to sleep. This little whisper in my ear is enough to make me stir and open my eyes. Begrudgingly, I do.

“Hey, guess what?”

No, thank you.

“It’s 2:30 in the morning! Can you believe it?”

Sigh, yeah I know. “You do know I have to be up in four and a half hours? Does that mean anything to you?”

“Of course it does, baby! That means we have four and a half hours we can spend together. You know I love this quality time. ”

“Good night!” I clamp my eyelids shut. What did that video say? Make a noise in my mind? Okay, ZZZZzzzZZZzzz. MMMMmmmMMMmmm.

“Mmm, let’s talk about how you will always be alone. I mean, sweetie, you will always have me, but not too many people can stand to be around you. Let’s face it, you do not have too much to offer, you’re always complaining, and you’re always worried about something. Hey, did you hear that?


Aye, Jayla!”

Yes. Defeated.

“Hey, girl…. As I was saying, when is the last time you made a genuine connection?


“Do you really think that’s going to last? She’s bored and you’re a toy. I give it to the end of the week for her to ghost you.”

No, that’s not true.

“Isn’t it?”


“You really should just end it, get before you get got. That’s what I always say. I am only trying to have your back; I am trying to protect you.”

“You say that and then I end up hurt.”

“You’re just not cut out for this. You are not cut out for a lot of things. I can see that. Remember that time your skirt fell to the floor during the Pledge of Allegiance.”


“Remember that time, at the grocery store, your mom asked you to grab a gallon of milk and you tried to get a good grip but you dropped it and milk exploded everywhere. Do you remember the shame you felt, you grabbed a bunch of circulars and laid them over the mess. You ran away crying covered in milk?”

“I feel sick, I-”

“Oh hold that thought. It’s 6:30, you should probably get some sleep.”

“Wait, what?” My lids droop down on their own. Time to sleep.


Are you kidding me?!

Do you like Awkward, Anxious, and Average? Read more here!


5 replies »

  1. The 2am thing. Always. And then you just get off into a lovely deep sleep… And them the alarm. Almost immediately. You know, I once listened to a motivational speaker who urged us all to greet the beginning of the week alarm call with the words: “Hooray, it’s Monday!” Funnily enough, I’ve never managed that. What I say is mostly unrepeatable.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s