Encouragement Corner

[You Deserve to] Be You

Let’s take a moment to breathe. Truly press pause on spoken and unspoken expectations; standards that do not fit our needs; and our self-doubt and judgments. Be intentional about being yourself.

Permitting yourself to be authentic is beautiful, but it takes practice, trust, and safety. We hear over and over that we should be ourselves, without the warning that it needs to fit someone else’s design. What I see and hear are, you are flawed and need to be better. You are not beautiful unless you have a specific look. Your worthiness is measured by your productivity; if you can not produce, you are undeserving. If you fall outside the norm, your experiences do not exist. If your brain and body are natural variations deemed undesirable, you are unnatural and chaotic. If you do not fit these unrealistic guidelines, you are not welcome at the table. With expectations like that, feeling like a failure is unavoidable. Being critical of ourselves is how we push our limits to try and be better, right? Is it worth the negative self-talk, long hours, sleepless nights, daily anxiety, price tags, scales, procedures, pressure, or hiding? What if for one, single, moment, we believed that we are fine exactly how we are.

The features and aspects of yourself that others pointed out as different and urged you to fix are the exact things that make you beautiful. You do not need to impress them or anyone else, the only opinion that matters is the one you have of yourself. Those standards are absolute bullshit, which is why they are pushed on us so hard. Instead of talking to or looking at ourselves in terms of who we want to be. What if we acknowledged ourselves as that person now? It might be a scary thought because we are not supposed to accept ourselves as is. Of course, we are continuously growing and changing, we have to, but we are the guides, not anyone else.

Give yourself permission to simply exist, as you are. Validate your past, present, and future self because you are not a mistake, you are not a placeholder, and you are not other people’s opinions.

You deserve self-forgiveness.
You deserve healthy boundaries.
You deserve healthy relationships.
You deserve to feel special.
You deserve to feel good.
You deserve to feel unique.
You deserve to feel successful.
You deserve to feel talented.
You deserve to like yourself.
You deserve to take up space.
You deserve to slow down.
You deserve to breathe.
You deserve to exist.

Loving yourself and being unapologetic about it makes you so damn powerful. It’s something we need to work on every day, even when it hurts. It doesn’t mean we won’t hear criticisms, judgments, or hurtful remarks. But, if we’re being honest, fuck ’em! You deserve to be here. The only person you need permission from is you.

 

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