Hello gentlepeople, welcome to Muted Mouthful! My name is Tiara (She/They/pronoun fluid), your humble host and guide through the inner workings of my mind. Muted Mouthful is a safe space I've created for myself, and hopefully, others, to navigate through some of life's cringiest moments. As someone that has felt misunderstood and out of place for most of my life, I now understand how important it is to share your story; this blog allows me to do so in the form of personal essays and creative writing. I hope we will be able to laugh, cry, and cringe together. If nothing else, you just made a new, quirky, weirdo friend!
An apology is usually reserved for some form of wrong-doing or disrespect, intentionally or unintentionally. If you’re not doing anything wrong, then there’s no need to apologize. If you’re like me, you know that’s much easier said than done. There are a lot of reasons you may be an over apologizer, but it doesn’t have to be a life-long identity.
If you’re a long-time follower of my blog, you may recall posts that discuss my discomfort with sharing my blog with my family and friends. I listed it as a goal, trying to convince myself that one day I would overcome my fears and insecurities and share with the people around me. Well the time has come.
If you have ever experienced a crisis, which looks different for everyone, you may have experienced an overwhelming loss of control. The heaviness of everything weighing on you prevents you from being able to think, speak, feel, and act as you would if you were well. Your family and friends, who may or may not know your behaviors, also do not know how to act. It’s very isolating and scary. Developing a crisis plan is a tool to assist yourself and your loved ones with managing your care in the event of a crisis
One year ago today, hand-in-hand with my favorite person, we walked down a lantern-lined aisle; on a hot New Orleans Thursday afternoon. Under the Tree of Life, a symbol of growth, strength, and connectedness, we proudly said, “we do!” Oh, what a beautiful day that was! To celebrate, I wanted to share a few details with you all, including our ceremony script.
Do you have a friend in your life you consider the “strong friend”? You may not use that label, but may have used descriptors such as reliable, understanding, problem-solver, gives solid advice, always knows what to say, and has it all together. This friend has your back, is your cheerleader, very comforting and supportive, and a good listener. All done without asking for reciprocation. Does that sound like someone you know or, does that sound like you? That friend is probably exhausted.
This year, as chaotic as it’s been, has allowed me time for introspection. Today, 7/27, is my birthday; I have a lot to say to my younger self. They should be very proud.
I’ve been weird all my life, not fitting in and feeling pressured to do so. I have a new appreciation for weirdness and being a weird Black kid; this is my love note to all the others.
Permitting yourself to be authentic is beautiful, but it takes practice, trust, and safety. We hear over and over that we should be ourselves, without the warning that it needs to fit someone else’s design.
Black womxn are at the crossroads of all social issues; poverty, racism, sexism, homelessness, homophobia, reproductive rights, and classism are only a few examples. The experiences and stories of Black womxn are unacknowledged and erased, yet, they are expected to bear the emotional and physical labor of pushing these movements forward.
Our skin, as beautiful and as shimmering as it is, is ribboned with cautionary tales from our ancestors; intricately weaved to remind us that our history is not distant at all, we confront it each day.
