Hello, gentlepeople! My name is Tiara (She/They/Pronoun fluid). I am a social worker, introvert, writer, and fellow awkward human being. I started my blog, Muted Mouthful, in 2018 as a hobby to help me untangle some of life's messiness. I have always felt out of place and misunderstood. My mind is loud, but my voice is quiet, and I needed a safe space to unload. Muted Mouthful is an extension of myself. It allows me to communicate my feelings, thoughts, and questions without judgment. As a Black, Puerto Rican, queer and non-binary person, my perspective and lived experiences are "supposed" to stay suppressed. My blog tells my story through personal essays, creative writing, and random shenanigans.
About three years ago, both Austin and I began to struggle falling asleep. We would lie in bed and watch the clock go from 10:00 pm to 5:00 am staring at each other or staring at the wall. Neither of us wanting to speak in hopes that at any moment sleep would envelop us and the sound of each other’s voice would ruin those chances.
“I would like the chicken fingers.” “I would like the chicken fingers, please.” “I would like…” “What are you doing?” Her voice broke my rehearsing. Why do I think out loud? For once, I will not overthink it, I am going to try and play it cool. “Hmm, […]
All I need to do is breathe. Breathe and clear my mind. Feet planted firmly on the ground? Check. Palms faced up, on my lap? Check. Great! Now, take a deep breath in and slowly exhale. Okay, you are doing it, Jayla. Just keep it up. Wait, you’re […]
I want the reasonable, kind of fun things that come with being an adult. I do not want much, I just want to live a comfortable, simple life with mild entertainment. As much as I kind of like my apartment, I want my fantasies to come true. Indulge me as I list my simple desires…
Before I could give it a name to it, I exhibited signs as of being an extremely anxious child. My parents would tell my teachers I was very shy and needed more time to warm up. I had regular stomachaches, was irritable, sensitive, and hardly spoke.
You, sitting there drinking an iced latte with your friends. Me, thinking of what to say to you or how to even get your attention. I like your shirt, that’s one of my favorite shows, are you a fan? I also like my beverages cold, not with whip […]
Everyone desperately wants to know that their relationship is strong and unique or that they are on the right track. It can be helpful to seek advice from others, but in the end, what works for someone else may not work for you.
My colleagues want to make small talk about their new furniture or their children. I do not want to fake a smile, I do not want to talk, I just want to mind my own business and be alone. Unfortunately, this seems to be unnatural to my coworkers; they find my quietness alarming.
Now and then, it’s good to take a moment and express gratitude. Here’s my list.
“Will you be my bridesmaid?”
Internally: No, no, no, no
Me: Of course!
Muted Mouthful 
Absolutely! Cheers to you, friend!
Yes! more childlike undbridled joy!
"Though I try, I cannot self-care my way out of systemic and structural oppression." – Brilliant.
oooooof all of these are my mood this week for sure
Thank you so much ❤ This can be really hard to acknowledge, thank you for identifying with that.