When I disappear, it’s not because I no longer wish to write. A scary, familiar feeling makes its way back into my mind; the first sign of its existence is when the writing stops. These words are a reminder to keep trying.
Hello gentlepeople, welcome to Muted Mouthful! My name is Tiara (She/They/pronoun fluid), your humble host and guide through the inner workings of my mind. Muted Mouthful is a safe space I've created for myself, and hopefully, others, to navigate through some of life's cringiest moments. As someone that has felt misunderstood and out of place for most of my life, I now understand how important it is to share your story; this blog allows me to do so in the form of personal essays and creative writing. I hope we will be able to laugh, cry, and cringe together. If nothing else, you just made a new, quirky, weirdo friend!
I have a lot of bad habits that I should have dropped years ago and hope to leave behind in 2019. I have convinced myself that they’re harmless, but these sorts of things build up year after year. I can’t promise I will replace them with something dynamic, but I can be a little easier on myself, which might be good enough for right now.
In honor of World Mental Health, please enjoy a guest post brought to you by Johnzelle Anderson, therapist, and writer with a passion for helping young people through life’s challenges. Johnzelle will identify some areas of life that deplete our energy and how we can protect it in a world that’s always on the go.
Not being able to put your thoughts into words is a classic introvert trait. Sometimes, as introverts, our needs are confusing, they’re ambiguous and difficult for other people to interpret. They are not mind-readers after all and sometimes our demeanor can unintentionally push people away. Here are four simple needs your friends may not understand.
Our parents try to mold us into their image and society tries to ensure we stay in line. The framework you are born into is supposed to fit like a glove, but it doesn’t always. It doesn’t make sense but buried deep inside yourself is a truth that’s longing to break free and you can’t explain why.
This is how I feel about most aspects of my life, but today we’re going to focus on gender.
10 more unusual facts about yours truly.
Do you have trouble facing the mirror? My self-esteem and I haven’t always seen eye-to-eye. Sometimes, we’re in sync. I’ll high-five the mirror or give myself a well-deserved wink. Other days, I am sitting on the floor sulking about how hideous I look and how I never want to go outside again.
I hate to say it, but I am a party pooper. Not for your parties, my own. Social anxiety affects many facets of my life; it does not take a break on my birthday.
“I appreciate you, my love. I appreciate that you allow your texts to go unanswered for weeks at a time. I appreciate you giving me space when I feel the walls are closing in on me. I appreciate you forcing your way into my mind when I have been quiet for too long. And I appreciate your reassuring hand when my thoughts tell me to push you away and my actions carry out this order accordingly.”
I am a tragic creative. No, not distressed or sorrowful. I mean tragic in the way that mid-2000’s teens insult you. I am sure you are too; trying to balance creative endeavors, taking care of your physical and mental health, and probably working a full-time job you don’t love.