I hate to say it, but I am a party pooper. Not for your parties, my own. Social anxiety affects many facets of my life; it does not take a break on my birthday.
Welcome to Muted Mouthful! My name is Tiara (she/they). I am a true introvert and socially awkward being trying to carve out a safe space for myself (and hopefully others). While you're here, my only hope is that you will laugh, cry, or cringe at the way I delightfully view the world. I can already tell we're going to be good friends!
“I appreciate you, my love. I appreciate that you allow your texts to go unanswered for weeks at a time. I appreciate you giving me space when I feel the walls are closing in on me. I appreciate you forcing your way into my mind when I have been quiet for too long. And I appreciate your reassuring hand when my thoughts tell me to push you away and my actions carry out this order accordingly.”
I am a tragic creative. No, not distressed or sorrowful. I mean tragic in the way that mid-2000’s teens insult you. I am sure you are too; trying to balance creative endeavors, taking care of your physical and mental health, and probably working a full-time job you don’t love.
Today, we are taking a break from being cynical and appreciating our friends.
“Have you ever been depressed?” 32,000 feet in the air, my mom turned to me, clear-eyed and interested, and asked me this question.
I thought to myself she doesn’t know? Well, of course, she doesn’t. I don’t exactly broadcast my mental health the way I should. Staring out the plane window, I took a deep breath and responded plainly with “yes.”
The kind and talented Sophia Ismaa invited me to interview for her latest project, A Collection of Cultures. Please visit her site for an insightful exploration of bloggers from diverse backgrounds.
Sometimes I found myself in, what I like to call, the vortex. It’s a whirlpool of feelings and emotions that sucks me in and makes it hard to escape.