Hello, gentlepeople! My name is Tiara (She/They/Pronoun fluid). I am a social worker, introvert, writer, and fellow awkward human being. I started my blog, Muted Mouthful, in 2018 as a hobby to help me untangle some of life's messiness. I have always felt out of place and misunderstood. My mind is loud, but my voice is quiet, and I needed a safe space to unload. Muted Mouthful is an extension of myself. It allows me to communicate my feelings, thoughts, and questions without judgment. As a Black, Puerto Rican, queer and non-binary person, my perspective and lived experiences are "supposed" to stay suppressed. My blog tells my story through personal essays, creative writing, and random shenanigans.
Do you have trouble facing the mirror? My self-esteem and I haven’t always seen eye-to-eye. Sometimes, we’re in sync. I’ll high-five the mirror or give myself a well-deserved wink. Other days, I am sitting on the floor sulking about how hideous I look and how I never want to go outside again.
I hate to say it, but I am a party pooper. Not for your parties, my own. Social anxiety affects many facets of my life; it does not take a break on my birthday.
“I appreciate you, my love. I appreciate that you allow your texts to go unanswered for weeks at a time. I appreciate you giving me space when I feel the walls are closing in on me. I appreciate you forcing your way into my mind when I have been quiet for too long. And I appreciate your reassuring hand when my thoughts tell me to push you away and my actions carry out this order accordingly.”
I am a tragic creative. No, not distressed or sorrowful. I mean tragic in the way that mid-2000’s teens insult you. I am sure you are too; trying to balance creative endeavors, taking care of your physical and mental health, and probably working a full-time job you don’t love.
Today, we are taking a break from being cynical and appreciating our friends.
“Have you ever been depressed?” 32,000 feet in the air, my mom turned to me, clear-eyed and interested, and asked me this question.
I thought to myself she doesn’t know? Well, of course, she doesn’t. I don’t exactly broadcast my mental health the way I should. Staring out the plane window, I took a deep breath and responded plainly with “yes.”
The kind and talented Sophia Ismaa invited me to interview for her latest project, A Collection of Cultures. Please visit her site for an insightful exploration of bloggers from diverse backgrounds.
Sometimes I found myself in, what I like to call, the vortex. It’s a whirlpool of feelings and emotions that sucks me in and makes it hard to escape.
One fantasy, 15 people; who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
In the seventh installment of Awkward, Anxious, and Average, Jayla is dreading celebrating the New Year.