After the past two years, I don’t want to focus on what’s wrong with me or how I can be different. I want to enter the new year accepting myself for where I am at, taking care of myself, and having less shame about it all in the process.
Gift-giving during the holidays can cause more stress than joy for many people in our lives. The holiday season can be complicated and put us in an awkward position based on our life experiences- are these gifts acts of love, acts of obligation, acts of control, or all of the above? We don’t all have the same relationship to gifting.
To exist- to survive, as is- is a lot of hard work. The effort that you put into each day is remarkable. I hope you can take a moment to yourself, breathe, and feel kindness and grace flow through you. I am proud of you for making it to the end of another week.
It’s easy to want to point fingers at each other when there’s conflict in our interpersonal relationships. Our egos want there to be a bad guy without looking at the full context of our behaviors. Before we rush to cast blame, we can hold ourselves accountable. We’re human; we make mistakes.
Autumn marks the season of transformation and the start of the holidays. With that comes an expectation to maintain traditions and express gratitude, a desire that is not universal for all of us. You don’t have to accept and find goodness in everything. You can be grateful and acknowledge you need change.
With all the information available from trained professionals and humans sharing their lived experiences, I’d like to think folks are gaining a deeper understanding of themselves and others. However, with all this information and reflection, I am growing concerned about one term that has been on the tips of people’s tongues, and that’s the word “toxic.”
Imagine a demon hag with sunken eyes, a deep black hooded cloak, and long boney fingers following me around, sounding alarm bells, and making me second-guess my every move. That’s how I pictured my anxiety and our lopsided relationship. Something needed to change.
This blog has always been a safe space for me to reflect, create, and untangle some of the messiness in life, waiting for me when I felt compelled to do so. I truly did not anticipate you all being a part of this journey and touching me as deeply as you have. I started Muted Mouthful three years ago; that fact alone is incredible to me. I have grown so much; the evidence is all right here. This blog has become a living testament to me, something I can, and do, look back on, reflecting on the one inevitable thing in life, change.
I may not have been able to travel this year, but I found myself exploring places in my mind that I had not ventured before.
An apology is usually reserved for some form of wrong-doing or disrespect, intentionally or unintentionally. If you’re not doing anything wrong, then there’s no need to apologize. If you’re like me, you know that’s much easier said than done. There are a lot of reasons you may be an over apologizer, but it doesn’t have to be a life-long identity.