In this installment of Awkward, Anxious, and Average, Jayla is overthinking her first date.
On this day last year, I was in a car accident. Just thinking about it now makes my head hurt. Despite all that, I did gain some valuable perspective that day.
I want the reasonable, kind of fun things that come with being an adult. I do not want much, I just want to live a comfortable, simple life with mild entertainment. As much as I kind of like my apartment, I want my fantasies to come true. Indulge me as I list my simple desires…
My colleagues want to make small talk about their new furniture or their children. I do not want to fake a smile, I do not want to talk, I just want to mind my own business and be alone. Unfortunately, this seems to be unnatural to my coworkers; they find my quietness alarming.
Every day, I fear that I am going to receive a call that someone I love has passed due to the actions of someone else. Be it a stranger, a neighbor, colleague, or police offer; I can see myself going mute and collapsing as the phone hits the […]
I thought I would make a list of tiny things I do/need in order to recharge that does not involve: forcing myself to “feel pretty”, getting a massage, going for a jog, or eating kale. For me, sometimes simple things can be neglected when I feel overwhelmed or not myself. Maybe if you are struggling with how to fulfill the concept of self-care in your life, this may help.
My resistance and admiration of D&D stem from the same places, which makes every session so damn conflicting. It involves interacting with other people, which I hate. It involves working together to solve problems, which I hate. It involves sharing your ideas, which I hate. Lastly, it involves thinking of things on the spot, which I hate.
This is how is goes for me, someone acknowledges me in some way, and I immediately want to disappear. Why is that? Shouldn’t I be thrilled that someone noticed me? The attention, the unsought validation, should make my heart flutter not fold over so it becomes tinier and tinier.